Having personal impact means having presence, being seen and heard. It requires us to take up space, physical and temporal, and advocate on behalf of ourselves.
Communication is powerful.
It demonstrates confidence, competence, conviction.
We all have something worth saying, but not all of us are confident about our ability to speak up. A healthy dose of growth mindset is required here. Communication is a skill, and like all skills it can be learned or improved upon. So maybe you’re not your best version of an impactful communicator… yet. Or maybe you’re better than your internal self critic will give you credit for.
Remember.. “if you’re always trying to be normal, you’ll never know how amazing you can be”
3 Cs of Impactful Communication
Confidence
‘’Confidence is the purity of action produced by a mind free of doubt’’
Connection
‘’People will forget what you said, they will forget what you did, but people will never forget how you made them feel’’
Clarity
‘’The pause is as important as the note’’
What can get in the way of us communicating confidently, competently and comfortably?
Overthinking
‘’You can’t be that kid at the top of the waterslide, overthinking it. You have to go down the chute.’’
Overthinking stops us from being present, and allows lots of other thoughts and elements to crowd our minds, making it harder for us to focus on the speaking. The more present we are, the more focused we are on what we are saying.
Quick and reliable fix for moving out of overthinking and into the present moment?
Breathing. Try : breathing in for four and out for six.
Our fears
Among them, fear of social judgement / social rejection
We are biologically hardwired to crave social acceptance and belonging. It meant survival. Not being pitch perfect when we speak isn’t a threat to our survival. But the nervous system doesn’t know that!
Threats to our survival trigger our SNS – sympathetic nervous system. The SNS response is ideal for preparing to face imminent danger and possibly death, but not great for delivering a presentation!
- Rush of adrenaline
- Increased heart rate
- Breath quickens
- Mouth gets dry
- Pupils dilate, muscles contract
- Non essential systems start to shut down : digestion / blood from extremities
Limiting beliefs
Beliefs are ideas and stories that we have decided are true. Limiting beliefs.. Limit us! They fence us in, hold us back.
I’m not a good public speaker – where does the belief come from? And even if it was true at one point, do you have to hold on to it, and turn the belief into a permanent part of your identity? Or can you learn to let it go, and craft yourself a new story about your communication abilities?
Be a Ten
I heard this many years ago and it resonated so deeply I’ve never forgotten it. I knew it immediately to be true.
Confidence is a choice.
Every day we have a choice as to how we are going to show up in our day. Show up a 6 and your day will turn out a 6. Stand up in the meeting a 6 and you’ll speak up no more than a 6. The others in the room will have no choice but to see you as a 6. But you have the choice to be a 10. Every day. Why do we choose to show up in our own lives anything less than a 10? Confidence is a choice
Courage
‘’You can have courage, or you can have comfort, but you can’t have both, not at the same time’’
Comfort zones are overrated. No true growth or development happens in the comfort zone. It can feel like a safer space, but in truth it is a limiting space. We have to get comfortable with being uncomfortable.
Remember:
‘’Today you are you, that is truer than true, there is no one alive who is youer than you’’
Your unique selling point is your own authenticity and uniqueness. Bring a healthy dollop of yourself to your communication. Communication is a skill. Like all skills, it can be learned, developed, improved. Impactful communication is a choice.
